Aurora, CO
I am losing track of the days - always checking the calendar on my phone. They are all running together. I hung out and ate a lot of food yesterday. Had long talks and learned some family history. I also text with Kacey a little bit and it was good to check in with him. I think we are probably doing about the same and feeling the same, but know that this is what is right and more will be revealed later. I also realized when we were talking about it being weird that I am not at the apartment anymore, that I have not yet "settled" to process fully - I am looking forward to doing this when I get to Arizona.
I realized I have been holding myself together... I don't know why. In order to grow, you have to break to allow the space to grow into. Like when building muscle, you tear the muscle and then build it up with protein and diet. I am not yet ready to fall apart, but I think I can start that process when I hit the road tomorrow. Today I am preparing myself for that I guess. having pep talks with myself about that. Asking for guidance in prayer and meditation. It will be like a little chick hatching from an egg - cracking the shell to get out and grow into a cute chicken.
10:34pm
Today was emotional. I had some realizations and awareness brought to my higher self, which was really good. I connected with family as well. Like I said to my mom today, I know that family is important. I have always known that, but today I feel like that set in. And to elaborate, I feel like I got this feeling today not only due to my current situation, the transitions, the feelings and emotions - but also because I am not a child anymore. My view/perception/understanding is so different than it was when I was younger. I see and appreciate what my mom did for us kids when we were little; how hard life was, but she always provided, made me feel loved and special. I mean seriously, she is an incredible woman that has accomplished so much. I am so proud of her. That is just one aspect with one person - there are many more. I am truly overwhelmed with emotions today and could barley contain them at certain points, especially when talking to my aunt. I am thankful I was able to get lunch with them today and catch up. We went back to my aunt's house and it was nostalgic. I remember being there as a kid, seeing certain things that she has had all these years. It brought back many memories.
Life is precious. Life is incredible. Life should not be taken for granted. The relationships with family (and friends) should be maintained - for family is forever. They are with you from the beginning to end - through it all. They love you unconditionally regardless of the choices you make in life. In a way, I feel guilty for being away from my family for so long. But I know, believe and trust that everything is divine and everything happens for a reason.
Tomorrow I will go to Garden of the Gods and to check out Manitou Springs nearby. I plan on staying the night in Grand Junction, CO and then heading to Bryce Canyon. Looking forward to the last few days of this journey and getting settled in at my sister's house. Thank you for all your love and support!! Love and light to you all!
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